182: 181 Shouting joyfully as he stepped into the house, he hurriedly looked around. Where could he be? He must be somewhere here. "Greyson!" Koi called his name again and headed straight through the living room. Next to the reception room, then the tea room, even to the music room, but the face he was looking for was nowhere to be seen. Puzzled, he went up the stairs to the upper floor. What was going on? Could it be some bad situation… Just as his heart sank with worry, Koi found him. Greyson was lying on the sofa placed on the balcony connected to the living room. Seeing his legs stretched out long over the sofa's armrest, Koi let out a sigh of relief and hurriedly walked toward him. "Greyson, there you were." Greyson, who had been lying with his eyes closed enjoying the sunlight, reluctantly opened his eyelids. Koi, looking down from above, happily kissed Greyson's forehead. "Have you been well? I missed you." Contrary to his affectionate words spoken with a smiling face, Greyson frowned. "Where's Papa?" Blinking, he asked. "Where is Papa? There's no way Daddy came alone." "I came alone." At the unhesitating answer, Greyson slowly sat up and looked at his face. At the gaze looking as if asking what he meant, Koi continued. "Ash has a schedule today so he can't come right away, he said I could go first. He said it was okay for me to be alone with you." "Hmm…" Greyson made a strange sound and tilted his head. Regardless of his son's reaction, Koi, who had brought a chair from the tea table and sat next to him, asked. "What happened? Why did you suddenly come to the East Coast? What wind brought you here?" "Ah…" At the series of questions, Greyson swept back his hair and answered nonchalantly. "I had some business." Just as Koi thought he didn't want to tell him, he added. "There are some people I need to meet." "People?" "Yes." That was all. Sensing he wouldn't say more, Koi decided not to ask further. He was more worried about something else. "You seem to have lost a lot of weight, Greyson." Koi showed a pitiful expression at his son's sunken cheeks. But Greyson just pulled up the corners of his mouth to show a smile. Koi silently looked at his profile. His son was like a plant that had been completely drained of vitality. How powerless he felt, unable to do anything while watching the leaves turn yellow and wither. He knew that Greyson had broken up with Dane. Until now, he had repeatedly met and broken up with numerous lovers, but this time was definitely different. Even Koi, who was usually called obtuse, could tell that his son had changed somehow. It must be very hard, Greyson. Unable to say those words, Koi could only stroke his son's shoulder. But Greyson just continued sitting there, looking into the distance with empty eyes. * * * Ashley visited not long after that. Koi, who had been sitting next to Greyson enduring the heavy silence, immediately stood up upon seeing him. "Ash, welcome." "Koi." Ashley, who had kissed him as if it were natural, soon turned his attention to his son. After looking over Greyson, who slowly stood up and looked at him, he paused before opening his mouth. "You've lost a lot of weight. Are you eating well?" Koi was surprised by the quiet voice. Ashley, who was always strict with the children, was speaking as if he were talking to Koi. Greyson also seemed surprised and hesitated for a moment. "…Yes, roughly." At the short answer, he still spoke calmly. "You should take care of your meals properly. …Shall we have dinner together later?" This was also a surprising change. Ashley didn't say "We'll have dinner, so prepare it" but ask "Shall we eat?" He was asking for his son's opinion. This time too, Greyson looked somewhat bewildered and shook his head. "No, I'll eat separately." "…I see." An awkward silence came. As an atmosphere different from the tension that had always been taut between them emerged, Koi looked back and forth between the two with wide eyes. Perhaps this was… "Ah, well." He cleared his throat and opened his mouth. "I'll go get some water for a moment. You two talk." If his old friend Ariel had seen this, she would have cheered in surprise. She would have said, "Koi, you've developed such sense!" Inwardly proud of himself, Koi hurriedly left. And Ashley and Greyson were left alone. Ashley was the first to move. Sitting in the tea table chair where Koi had been, he pointed to the sofa as if telling him to sit too. When Greyson obediently sat there, Ashley finally opened his mouth. "Are you extracting pheromones?" This much hadn't changed. Whenever Ashley saw the children, he always asked this question first. Greyson nodded indifferently. "I went to Steward and had them extracted. I checked the levels too, and heard they're lower than average." "Your pheromones are lower than average?" "Yes." At the unexpected story, when Ashley frowned and asked, Greyson obediently nodded. "I had an enormous amount extracted." Only then did Ashley understand what he meant. But that didn't mean he could be relieved. "Extracting too much at once isn't good." If not careful, it could cause shock. At Ashley's warning, Greyson answered nonchalantly. "Steward would have handled everything properly, so it's fine." Ashley said nothing. Even at the gaze just silently staring at his face, Greyson showed no sign of discomfort and was just looking elsewhere. Ashley, who had let out a short sigh, opened his mouth. "If there's anything I can do for you, tell me." Greyson nodded and said. "Yes, I'll call Burnice." "No, tell me." Ashley firmly corrected the obedient response. Greyson again looked puzzled. Ashley softened his tone and added. "Contact me directly, I'll answer right away anytime." "…I will." "Good." Ashley, who had nodded back, patted his son's shoulder once. Silence returned instantly. No one spoke first. As if each trapped in their own thoughts, they kept their mouths firmly shut for some time, when Greyson suddenly opened his mouth. "How did you know?" At the sudden question, Ashley frowned and looked at him. Greyson stared directly at him and asked again. "How did you know I would try to kill Dane?" Cold air circulated between them. Ashley just looked at his son's face for a while without saying anything. After a pause, he moved his lips slowly, very slowly. "You smiled then, didn't you?" At the quiet voice, Greyson hesitated. Looking at his frozen son, Ashley added. "When you heard that Dane Striker might go blind." At the words that followed without giving him a chance to escape, Greyson couldn't answer immediately. He moved his eyes left and right as if trying to think of another excuse for a moment, but soon gave up and shrugged his shoulders. "How did you know? I even covered my mouth because I was smiling." Looking at his son who pulled up the corners of his lips with a familiar smile, Ashley gave his answer. "Your ears." Along with the quiet voice, his gaze went to Greyson's ears. "They moved." Greyson didn't react for a while. Just silently looking at Ashley, he threw another question. "Why did you think I was smiling?" It could have been any other reaction. It might have just moved meaninglessly. But Ashley stared at him with a cold gaze. "Naturally, there couldn't be any other reason." "Haha…" At the deflating answer, Greyson made an empty laugh. "Was that warning because of grandfather?" At the returning question, Ashley frowned and looked at him. Greyson still said while looking into the distance. "I heard from Burnice. How grandfather died." Ashley silently looked at his son's profile. "…No." In a voice lower than usual, he growled. "It was because of what I did." Greyson's eyebrows twitched. Even though he heard it with his own ears, he couldn't immediately understand what it meant. What? How? Who? To whom? Watching his son's confused reaction, Ashley said again. "I would have done that, without hesitation." Greyson stared intently at his face. Papa would kill Daddy? Did that make sense? It was completely unimaginable, but Ashley Miller never joked. Especially not in a situation like this. At that moment, Greyson realized. That what he had tried to do was exactly that. What his father had done and what his father's father had done. At his son's expression finally understanding the meaning, Ashley's lips twisted bitterly. "I thought you resembled my father a lot." He muttered self-deprecatingly. "Recently I thought you resembled me. …But you didn't." Having said that much, Ashley closed his mouth. Greyson, who had been silently looking at the deeply carved wrinkles around his mouth, asked. "What will happen to me now?" His voice seemed somehow deflated. At the ambiguous question where it was unclear whether he truly wanted an answer or just threw it out, Ashley answered simply. "I don't know, from my perspective." He added bitterly. "My father and I didn't have the courage to go down that path." With a short sigh, Ashley, who had swept his face with one hand, looked at his son. At his father's expression he'd never seen before, Greyson felt strange. Ashley continued to him. "You made a choice that neither I nor my father could make. You are you, different from me or my father." A sad smile played around his lips. "Admirable." Ah. Suddenly Greyson remembered. He had seen such an expression somewhere before. That very face Dane had when looking at Greyson. The one Ashley was making now. This is what compassion is. He suddenly realized. The emotion he could never understand, the expression he couldn't learn. That was compassion. Along with that, his eyes grew hot. He knew. Dane Striker didn't love him. He just pitied him. He would probably gladly throw away his life for him too. Equally, just as he would for anyone in the world. "…I really hate firefighters." Greyson said with a weak smile. Why must emotions coexist with memories? He had learned a fact he didn't need to know. Now he would never be able to go to Disneyland, which he had loved so much. He wouldn't be able to watch fireworks either. That pain from that time would remain in his memory forever, eternally tormenting him. Even though he would never see the being who had given him these emotions and memories again. More than anything, he could know for certain. A fact as clear as his own existence. Now Greyson would never be able to see him again. Because everything was over. But if, truly, God existed. Greyson vaguely thought. May that man's end not be alone.