186: 185 At those words, Greyson stopped all movement. Without noticing that he wasn't even breathing, Naomi continued. "Pretty strange, right? Who would set something like that as a safe word? The person who heard it must have thought it was weird too. When she asked why that particular thing…" Dane's face saying that with a relaxed manner and smile seemed to appear clearly before Greyson's eyes. To Greyson, who sat silently, Naomi shrugged her shoulders. "Are there people who say they don't want to take responsibility like that? During sex, what words can't you say? There are people who get more excited when they hear those words. It means he can't even stand hearing 'I love you' said just from excitement. How irresponsible." "…No." At Naomi's last words, Greyson muttered in a low voice. "That man is the opposite – he's like that because he has too much sense of responsibility." When Naomi, who understood his words a beat late, looked at him puzzledly, Greyson continued muttering while looking at the edge of the table. "Because he takes responsibility until the end no matter what happens, he just doesn't say it easily…" Naomi blinked in surprise. What was this man saying now? She was flustered, but Greyson fell into his own thoughts. I was forcibly demanding what he was trying so hard to avoid. A sense of futility washed over him. To realize this fact only now. This late. He laughed making an absurd sound, then raised his head. Naomi, who had been watching Greyson until then, stopped when their eyes met. To such her, Greyson smiled as usual. "Thank you for telling me." "Uh…" Naomi ended up making a dumbfounded sound. Just as she was thinking something was strange, Greyson suddenly made eye contact with her. To Naomi, who unconsciously flinched, Greyson asked in his languid tone. "What about you?" "What? What about what?" When she frowned and asked back at the sudden question, Greyson answered with his usual smiling face. "What I did wrong to you. The fact that you joined that group means you also hold a grudge against me, right?" "I didn't join, I just know it exists." "Right, anyway." When she corrected the wrong information with a frowning face, Greyson nodded half-heartedly. Naomi frowned at his attitude that she didn't like. At her silent stare, Greyson said with a crumbling smile. "Tell me, please." Though his face was the same as always, his tone somehow felt different from before. Naomi looked at him silently, then narrowed her eyes. "You should distinguish between someone you sleep with and someone you marry." Using her genius acting skills generously, Naomi perfectly imitated Greyson's tone, and faint anger rose in her eyes. She had tried to forget these words too. But whenever the memory suddenly came alive during daily life, she got angry every time. The anger grew larger over time, and now it wouldn't easily subside no matter what happened to Greyson. Come on, let's hear what excuse you'll make now. In contrast to her murderous gaze, Greyson looked genuinely surprised. Disgustingly, this made Naomi even angrier. "What do you mean? I said something like that? To you?" "As expected! Just as I thought, Greyson Miller. Excellent." Naomi smiled brightly and even clapped. "I thought you wouldn't even remember. That's Greyson Miller for you." "When did I say something like that…" "Of course. Why would you need to remember such things? You're a Miller." At her relentless sarcasm, Greyson hesitated. She smiled cynically and mocked him thoroughly. "You've probably never even thought about other people's feelings. Of course. You don't need to. So how could you remember? You just say whatever you want and leave, that's it." At her words poured out with anger, Greyson looked genuinely surprised. Most of all, he was bewildered by the fact that Naomi was this angry. "You're really amazing." "What?" What is this bastard trying to upset me with now? To Naomi, who tensed up for a moment, he said naturally. "To be this angry at me and still be friends with me like this… I didn't know, thank you." This crazy bastard? Greyson was genuinely admiring. For a moment, Naomi almost couldn't help but slam the table. Fortunately, with tremendous self-control, instead of drawing people's attention, she spoke in a lowered voice – though she couldn't help the trembling – through gritted teeth. "Why do you think I stayed close to you? I was waiting to see you fail, you son of a bitch." At those words, Greyson only let out a short "Oh." An awkward silence descended. Greyson stared blankly at Naomi, who was glaring at him from across the table, then finally dropped his shoulders. "I see…" Muttering in a fading voice and hanging his head low, he somehow looked like a puppy who had his expected treat taken away. No way, that can't be right. That's Greyson Miller. Naomi wanted to slap herself and shout to snap out of it, but instead held back and widened her eyes. Don't sympathize, that's just a show that bastard always puts on. You must never be fooled. Just as she resolved that far, Greyson opened his mouth. "I guess I'm being punished." "What?" Naomi's eyes went round in surprise. What did I just hear? At a sentence she thought could never come from Greyson Miller, she had no choice but to doubt her ears. But Greyson no longer smiled. His expression looking down with drooping corners of his mouth looked so dejected. Even though such a thing couldn't be possible. Yes, this is the price for my sins. Greyson thought. The sin of trampling on others' emotions while putting only my own emotions first my whole life. Dane's words suddenly came to mind. It was the same with him. Only my feelings came first, and I never once thought about the other person's position. I only thought from my own perspective. Then suddenly, one face came to mind. The younger brother he had tried his best to help. But instead, seeing him hate and despise himself, Greyson had always just felt wronged… "I was sorry." At the quietly flowing voice, Naomi's eyes grew even wider. Greyson continued in a more serious voice than ever. "I was sorry, for all the things I said… I shouldn't have done that." To think I could only understand when it finally became my own problem. Greyson added self-deprecatingly. "I'm sorry for hurting you." Naomi couldn't say anything for a moment. No way, she had desperately hoped this day would come, but at the same time thought such a thing could never happen, but no way. "You really loved him, that man." At Naomi's muttering like she was talking to herself, Greyson paused before answering. "Yes." To Naomi, who was staring blankly in a daze, Greyson raised his head and said. "Thank you for telling me about Dane. It was enjoyable, really." My goodness… It was still an unbelievable story, but she had no choice but to believe it. Because a smile she had never seen before had appeared on Greyson's face as he looked at Naomi. An expression that seemed to be crying even while smiling. Greyson Miller finally learned what emotions are. The moment she realized that fact, Naomi felt like she had been hit hard on the head before feeling joy. This isn't right. Naomi thought blankly. This, this isn't right. This isn't what I imagined. The same words kept repeating in her mind. Now it was her turn to laugh to her heart's content. Wasn't this the moment she had longed for so much? The very moment she had no choice but to wait for persistently while despairing it would never come. Now was that time. But why couldn't she laugh? Naomi just looked at him in confusion. Though it was nonsense, she was now pitying Greyson. To think the anger that had been burning in her chest for years would subside so quickly at the sight of a man who must be twice her size crouching that large body and being utterly depressed. Why did it turn out like this? She felt bewildered and suddenly realized. Ah, this is an emotion I have no choice but to feel because I'm human. That's why it's also impossible to hate someone forever. Forgiving and sympathizing are also emotions I naturally feel because I'm human. The moment she realized that fact, her heart became more peaceful than ever. She had finally found the peace of mind that couldn't be felt even after 10 hours of yoga. Only then could Naomi speak sincerely. "I'll accept your apology." Greyson, who had been looking intently at her face, smiled faintly. "Thank you." He felt his heart was a little lighter. Who else is there? Searching his memory, he chuckled. There's still a lot left. But the very last was decided. It was Chase Miller. * * * Dane, who was about to get in his car after work, stopped at a sudden phone call. It was a call from Joshua. "What is it now?" At his blunt question without even a greeting, Joshua chuckled as if incredulous and answered. – I called because I was curious how you're doing. Nothing's wrong, right? How's your body? "I'm fine, very much so." At his nonchalant answer, Joshua laughed. – You were like a rag but you're already all better, that's fortunate. You're pretty tough too. At his mischievous tone, Dane said indifferently. "Thanks for the compliment. Where are you? Did you come to the West Coast?" When Joshua suddenly called like this, it was usually to say he had come this way so let's meet once. As expected, this time too he brought up the expected topic. – I just arrived. Want to meet if nothing's happening? "What's the sudden occasion?" While Dane was in the hospital, Joshua had left for the East Coast. He had received a few check-up calls, but that was all. Actually, it was better that way since exchanging mushy words didn't suit either of them. But the fact that he had come back here not long after leaving for the East Coast was somewhat puzzling. As expected, Joshua let out a short sigh and brought up unexpected words. – Are you in contact with Greyson? "No." When Dane answered immediately, Joshua asked again without surprise as if he had expected this. – Do you know that bastard is on the East Coast? "No, I didn't know that. Should I?" Dane asked back in a voice that sounded indifferent even to himself. Inwardly thinking it was fortunate that no emotion entered his voice. I see, Joshua continued. – You don't necessarily need to know… well, never mind. "What is it? Tell me." At his attitude of just wanting to drop the subject, Dane finally couldn't contain his curiosity and asked. Joshua spoke as if it didn't matter either way. – If you knew why that bastard is on the East Coast right now, you'd be amazed too. He could clearly picture him frowning even without seeing. Dane urged him again. "What is it?" Fortunately, Joshua answered without dragging it out long. – That guy is going around apologizing to people. At the sudden words, Dane couldn't react immediately. His busily moving brain suddenly stopped, and 2-3 seconds of blank time passed. Soon he spoke rapidly in a voice higher than usual. "Greyson is going around apologizing?" When he repeated exactly what he had heard at the unexpected news, an annoyed sigh came from the other end of the phone. – Yeah, I don't know what he's thinking. Joshua was genuinely displeased. – He doesn't seem to be doing it to just anyone, but from what I found out, he's going around to people he used to date or people he wronged to apologize. Then he made a short laughing sound. As if he was dying of laughter. – That bastard is getting beaten up terribly. It's what he deserves. Ah, I should have watched that spectacle with Chase. Dane took the phone away from his ear, put it back, and asked. "If Chase was going to receive an apology, shouldn't he have stayed on the East Coast? Or isn't the younger brother on the list?" – No, that's not it. He continued nonchalantly. – Greyson said he would apologize, but well, seeing him getting beaten up like that, it's natural not to trust what kind of apology it would be, right? It was a somewhat understandable reason. Dane also knew how much Greyson could infuriate others. Joshua continued. – Just in case that bastard says something irritating and Chase commits assault or something, we avoided him for now. There's no need to cause unnecessary scandal. "So." Dane finally caught on to why they had come to the West Coast. "You ran away to avoid Greyson?" – Call it an escape. Joshua, who corrected the word, continued. – It won't drag on long. Depending on the situation, if Greyson has really changed, we'll have to meet him. But there wasn't much trust felt in his tone. Dane unconsciously opened his mouth. "He's not as rotten as you think…" – What? A sharp voice immediately returned. Dane came to his senses belatedly and answered quickly. "No, it's nothing. So Greyson is still on the East Coast? And you guys are here?" When he quickly changed the subject, Joshua answered "probably." – That bastard might chase us to the West Coast. Then he made a short laughing sound. – He might get shot by someone before that. Though he spoke like it was a joke, at words that didn't sound like a joke at all, Dane showed no reaction. * * * To think he went to the West Coast. Greyson sat in the airport VIP lounge with a deeply furrowed brow, lost in thought. He had barely finished paying for his past karma and had only one left, but that one wasn't easy. It was his younger brother Chase. He had deliberately sought him out after hearing he was on the East Coast for filming, but he had already left. If he had known this would happen, he should have met Chase first. What kind of mess was this after being unnecessarily leisurely? Well, I have to return to the West Coast anyway. Greyson tried to think as positively as possible. Looking at just the conclusion, nothing would change. It was annoying that he couldn't completely finish, but it was just slightly delayed. Don't tell me that bastard deliberately… Just as he was frowning, someone knocked on the VIP room door. When he unconsciously looked up, the door soon opened and an unexpected person appeared. "Oh." Greyson just let out a short exclamation while frozen in place. * * * As always, immediately after getting off work, Dane took care of his cat's food and litter box, had a simple dinner with leftover food, and sat on the sofa. He drank beer and flipped through TV channels, but everywhere was just boring programs. No, what was really boring was his life. Nothing had changed from before to now, but Dane was realizing every day how tedious life was. It felt like being forced to sit and watch a very boring movie played at the slowest speed possible. …When was the last time I went to a club? But he had no motivation and didn't feel like going even there. Thinking he was voluntarily continuing an absurdly long celibate life, he sighed. Seeing Darling, who had climbed onto his thigh, rub her head against his stomach, he habitually petted her. Empty. Looking at the quiz show flowing from the TV without any inspiration, he vaguely thought. * * * "... ... ..." He suddenly woke up to the sound of someone chattering. Only then did Dane realize he had fallen asleep sitting on the sofa. When he was looking for the remote to turn off the TV and go to bed, a reporter's voice suddenly pierced his ears. [Yes, that's right. Miller was shot right here.] At that moment, Dane froze completely.